My Best Friend's Birthday

Well I got somewhat tired of snow adventures (every trip out of the house could have proved to be a post. I'm glad (despite the objections of some) that the snow is melting. It was beautiful and yes I love snow and yes I'm very glad that we had a white Christmas.....but I'm glad it is going.

As I think about the snow and Christmas I'm reminded about how different the true meaning of Christmas is from what we normally think of as “Christmas” I frequently think of that warm happy feeling of goodwill and giving. However, it has nothing to do with giving, peace, or our happiness. It is a birthday party for one Person and one only. We celebrate because of Jesus. I think it is great that all over the world people celebrate my Best Friend's birthday!

Whiter Than the Snow

As I look out over the field and the blanket of snow I'm amazed at how white the snow is. The sheep that I used to call “white” now look dirty and brown. The snow is so white and pure that it makes everything else dirty in comparison. It has covered the brown field making it a gorgeous pure whiteness. The field was full of dead, ugly, brown grass before. That is kinda like our lives. We were rotting and dead in our sins but Christ has made us pure and white. The Bible says that we are WHITER than the snow. It calms my heart and lifts my spirits to see whiteness all around me and know that when God looks on me He sees me even whiter than this.

Snow Adventures Part 4

Well today I woke up and, apparently, turned off my alarm. So I woke up again an hour later. Realizing that, yes, Pastor Mark would have posted on the daily link by now if we have services or not. I already knew from last night that the choir would not be singing. What I didn’t know is if there would be normal services and music practices with one of my favorite pianists. Well services were not normal. Only one service which I knew also meant to practice after church. Well after talking with my family we all decided to stay home. We had church all together the sermonette was about the names of Jesus. Then some quiet time in the house then we went out to the garage (where a fire had been blazing in the stove) and played ping pong, pool, and air hockey. Then my friend Nicole called and we confirmed that we would not be going to a party this evening that we and our siblings had been invited to. So there are no snow adventures today. But maybe there will be tomorrow.

Snow Adventures Part 3

Today I had choir practice and I was tired of taking the bus so I drove. Every thing wen fine. The roads were almost clear. I kind of parked in a snow drift but after choir practice I was able to get out of it just fine. However I didn't want to back out of the parking lot so I drove through the back. Well there is quite a steep hill in the back parking lot and I found myself slipping down it and sideways at and angle into the cement blocks. I did the only thing I could think of to do. Put the gas all the way down. It made a horrible sound but it worked. I was able to keep going and finally got back to the comfort of the traveled road. The roads were very nice except while I was waiting at a stoplight and both the large raised pickup trucks that were on either side of me had their back ends swerving slightly. Either one oft hem could have crushed me but God was looking out for me and there wasn't a scratch on my car. If only everyone would drive safely in the snow!

As soon as I got home I headed out with my mom to visit my grandfather and then my grandmother. The roads were fine still and other drivers seemed to be considerate enough to not try to kill me. (ah how sweet) We got there and back again without any incidents. Then both of us took hot showers. Ahhhh lovely.

Then I started cleaning my room but found myself typing out these posts instead. As I did so I looked out the window and saw my brother. As I peer out from my warm bedroom I see him run about 8 feet and then slide on the ice over the lower part of the field for about 15 feet and then dissatisfy behind in a crash landing behind some tall grass. Considering that he never seems to get cold he is probably having a wonderful time. I strongly believe that no matter how smooth the ice was I probably would come to a stand still as soon as I tried to slide. Maybe by the end of winter I'll learn how to slide on the ice. For now, though, I am happy to be sitting inside sipping hot Chai Tea.

It is supposed to snow again tonight. I wonder what tomorrow shall hold for snow adventures.

Snow Adventures Part 2

On Friday I went to work. My parents went Christmas shopping so dropped me off at the closest bus station so I didn't have to walk (they're the best) then On the bus and I got off at the closest stop to work. I walked in and the cold came in with me causing the receptionist to shiver. As I started to prepare a latte from the very amazing coffee maker at work another friend came out of his office “so Janel” he said slyly “I see you still have your coat on” Knowing that there was some motive other than concern in his words I replayed “because I'm COLD” Well Dan is the marketer of all marketers so somehow in the discussion he convinced me to get him something from the Black Drop if I got to use his gift certificate for me to. However he failed to actually describe to me what he wanted so we ended up both going out in the cold. Me in my warm coat, Him in his hockey jersey. The warm blackness was worth the short walk. Then up to work where I actually started to thaw out.

Since it was too cold to go anywhere I mostly stayed in my seat although I did get to cover reception for a while Then in the late afternoon a friend and I decided to brave the weather to the bank and Starbux. She was a good girl and got some tea. I, on the other hand, got the signature hot chocolate. Oh yummieness. When we got back I started looking at the bus schedule as I explained to some poor Asian man the differences between Logos, Thomas Nelson, and Libronix (the call was about 35 minutes just for me to find that someone else had had the same conversation with him already – poor man) I called my friend Nicole to tell her that I loved her but not enough to wait at the bus stop in 7 degree weather and hence would not be coming to her house. Then I realized that none of the connections that I needed on the bus connected very well. I saw myself sitting at the bus stop for half and hour waiting in the cold for that bus. The image gave me shivers. I told one of my sweet, compassionate, caring friends that if I died that night she and her roommates could have the furniture in my room. Her response? “Oh GOODIE!!!” (I love you too Bethany.)Well I called my dad and he said he could pick me up once I got to the community college. So I took the bus from the downtown station to the station at the college.
We ended up half an hour late because the road around the mall turn into part of the parking lot (as in there were so many cars there that everyone was stopped.) I think that all of the county and maybe half the next county were there. My dad was waiting for me (the poor man had a horrible cold) That evening I thawed out to some warm pot pie and a Christmas movie with my family.

Snow Adventures Part 1

So on Wednesday my brothers and I decided to go for a walk. I seriously regretted it by the time I got home. For one thing I just can't slide. I watched my brothers run and then slide along the road. Every time I tried it I came to an abrupt stop and nearly landed on my face. Sigh!

Then on Thursday I woke up and decided I wanted to go Christmas shopping. I proposed at the breakfast table that my brothers and I walk (I didn't learn the first time) to the bus stop and head over to Walmart and to the mall. So we bundled up and walked a half mile in the wind and snow to the bus stop. It was about 15 minutes late but the warmth of the bus was worth the wait. Then we continued on to Walmart and did a little Christmas shopping and a little clothes shopping. Then we started our careers as professional bag stuffers. See we didn't want to take more bags that we needed since we didn't want to carry them. We also didn't want the bags to break. Once we got the perfect balance we walked back out into the bitter cold and walked all the way to the community college. We took a delightful detour to Starbucks on our way there. Hmmmmm. There are few things as wonderful as an eggnog latte when you are freezing cold.

From the community college we took a bus to the mall where we did some Christmas shopping and then had lunch and a very yummy Cinabon (yes it was a high calorie sort of day) then one of my brothers shopped for some jeans while I took a quick stop at the beauty salon to burn my face, I mean wax my eyebrows. Then we ran back to the food court and into the movie theater and watched Madagascar 2. It was very funny. Yes, somewhat childish, or silly, or dumb but funny none the less. Then a tiny bit more shopping and back on the bus. We had to stop at the station and catch another bus. We huddled with other freezing people in the shelter and then onto the warm bus. Then the half mile walk home again. Ah warmth!

Good News Club Doubled

Ah, the satisfying feeling of having finished a Good News Club. Clubs are finishing up for the year. After Christmas break they should start up again with even more children. Our club at one school just doubled (we went from 2 to 4 kids) I'm quite excited about the whole thing. Now, if you have never gone every week to teach lessons to two children you probably don't understand the impact and excitement that comes from doubling a class size to include four children but let me tell you it is exciting. Last week when our two children turned into three we were quite excited. It was worthy of making phone calls to inform those who might wish to know the exciting news. Now that we have four children it may be hard to contain ourselves for sheer excitement (actually I'm sure we will manage). The girls that I work with and I are just very excited that we get to reach more children with the Good News. It is neat to see as the children become excited to start bringing their friends and the influence in this brand new school begins to spread.

A couple years ago we had one club that had started out with only one child that came. A faithful teacher (Miss Holly) came week by week ready to teach that one child and show her God's love. Last year I was blessed to be handed this club we started out the year with four children this time and ended up with 18 who had come to hear the Good News. This year we have 25 members at that club. I know that great things can come of small beginnings.

One less exciting thing is that I forgot all of the treats we had brought. I didn't realize they were missing until I was dropping off the girls I work with at their house. I didn't worry about it but went happily into their warm house out of the heat and chatted a bit and received a lovely gift of pumpkin muffins and exchanged Merry Christmasses as I walked out the door into the blustery cold. I decided that after I picked up my brother at the school he teaches at we would go back and look for them. Much to my excitement the door was still opened. We crept quietly inside and were welcomed by the large staircase and beautiful fireplace (the children at this school are blessed with beautiful architecture) Then we tried to enter the pod (no we are not exactly in a bee hive just very close) however it was locked. Hopefully someone will enjoy those chips today.

Not for the Faint of Heart

Not only did I get wet yesterday but I was also under attack. Yes, the experience was quite dramatic. See I needed to know how to use a mac, having never used one I asked my coworker for help. This require me pulling up a chair to his desk and watching him. This sounds innocent enough right. Well no, you see his desk is very close to the side of the room where I used to work, the dangerous side, the violent side, the HAPPY side, as we were finishing up I realized that I had about three darts stuck to me and there were about six or seven that had managed to bounce off of my sweatshirt and were sitting on the floor, desk and chair. Ah the joys of working with the people you are so comfortable with. It is a dangerous business. Customer support is not for the faint of heart...nor is working with friends!

A Sigh of Relief

Ah a sigh of relief. I turned in my last final yesterday morning. It felt so good to be rid of that thing. Although I had an unusually peaceful finals week (being at home sick and studying) I am so glad that now I have tons of time to do fun things. I'm excited to go to parties, bake cookies, Christmas carol, go Christmas shopping with friends and brothers. It twill be great.

I'm also excited to start wrapping up Good News Clubs. My kids have been great and I will miss not seeing them. The really sad part is that I will not be coming back after Christmas break. I have other people who will be taking over the clubs for me and I have no doubt that they are quite capable and will rightly divide the Word of Truth.

Right now I'm in my bedroom surrounded by many of the things that used to be in my closet. You see, as soon as I finished my finals I took everything I could out of my closet and dumped it on the floor. Some of it has started to go back. Now I am stuck with those things that I really can't get rid of and yet really have not place to put. So once I find a place for those I can start organizing my bookshelves, then my craft and sewing bins, then my hope chest, then my chest of drawers. At least those are all relatively small projects. It would be nice, though, if at some point during break I could walk from one side of my room to the other.

Since this post is relatively scrambled anyway I thought I could include a story about my experience yesterday:

I wake up ready for the day to begin with a list in my head of exactly what I need to do when and where I need to go and how I need to get there. First I need to go to the church and take care of the library there, I can drive my car for this part. Then I need to drive to downtown and park my car in the parkade. Then I walk to the bus stop. It is pouring down rain. Both of the buses I thought I could take were leaving as I approached the station. Fortunately the station is dry. Finally another bus comes. I take it to school and then walk over to my teachers office and drop my final off in her box in the English department office. Then back to the bus stop. I take a quick detour to the computer lab. Back on a bus headed down town I realize that my pants are soaked. I also realize that I forgot my badge that is required for all employees. By the time I get to the station it is raining even harder. Every thing about me feels very wet as I enter the building and ask the receptionist for a “tacky looser name tag” (those who forget their badges get to wear a stick on name tag) I get one and write down my name and head to Amy's office to tell her I'm done with school for the quarter. Then to the kitchen to get a water bottle. Then back to reception where I cover for a few minutes. By the time the main receptionist is back some of my friends from Customer Support are downstairs and we all head to Starbucks. I believed that I was as soaked as I could possibly get so what harm could it do to go back out into the rain. Well by the time I finally sit down at my desk I realize that my jeans are soaked all the way up to just below the knee. How someone could get that wet I don't entirely know. I know that my pants were long and my shoes very flat....but up to the knee. I guess water can travel up your pant leg. I got dry just in time to go out again on break to get lunch and then again to go on a break with some friends that afternoon. Each time I came in I wished I hadn't gone out. “I want a hair dryer, or a new pair of pants....why can't it just snow?” that is the real question. When is it going to snow?!

Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

Homemaking

“So how is the house cleaning coming?” the words from my classmate were not meant as an insult but remembering his comments from before brought a certain sting “I thought only girls who were depressed cleaned house.” No, girls who are not depressed clean house, and bake, and cook, and care for children. Actually many many women have found cleaning house, just one part of keeping a home, to be a very satisfying career. It is just one very small piece of being a keeper at home. There are many, many, many such little pieces that make domesticity attractive. However it isn't just these little sacrifices and acts of kindness (or big ones) it is the spirit of a woman giving herself to her family that is so beautiful. To be able to truly have something to give, in reality to have anything to give a woman must allow God's blessings to flow over her constantly. She must give herself in God and allow Him to fill every bit of her life and then she can truly be a blessing to her family. As I learn to let God fill me completely I think of how blessed I am to have so many Godly woman as my examples. Women who have not listened to societies insults at the idea of homemaking and have allowed God to fill them up so that they can pour out God's love to their families and friends.

Things

What happened is, we grew lonely
living among the things,
so we gave the clock a face,
the chair a back,
the table four stout legs
which will never suffer fatigue
We fitted our shoes with tongues
as smooth as our own
and huge tongues inside bells
so we could listen
to their emotional language,
and because we loved graceful profiles
the pitcher received a lip.
The bottle a long, slender neck.
Even what was beyond us
was recast in our image;
we gave the country a heart,
the storm an eye
the cave a mouth
so we could pass into safety.

Lisel Mueller

Entertainment

Last night I relaxed and watched the show. It was interesting this time. A good book was being read. It will never be read the same way again. Books really are more interesting that way-when you make them up as you go. You see I was the daughter and my "mommy" was reading to my brother and "sister" as I watched from the corner. Then everyone went into the house and the horse tried to follow. Brother finally pulled it all the way in which he got in proper trouble for. Apparently rocking horses do not belong in play houses. Then dinner was served. Brother seemed to get in trouble a lot. It might have had something to do with the fact that "mommy" was a lot smaller than him an less than half his age. Then came school time and mommy became the teacher and brother was still in trouble.

Yes, taking care of children with my entertaining brother is quite an adventure...If you haven't laughed for a while try watching and 18 year old boy play house with a 6 year old girl. It is great fun!

I have an amazing brother.

Dawn Treader

I was just getting out of the grove of being in Narnia. Then I realized that I will soon be going back to Narnia and need to prepare for it. Wow, so much to think about so much to ask questions about. This time we will be thrown into the water and hoisted up by the “Dawn Treader”. Yes, we are starting to think about (or I am starting to think about) camps for next summer. It was about this time last year when I originally started planning to help with a camp. Little did I know how things would turn out (actually I knew nothing at all!). It makes me wonder which ones of my expectations will be changed this year. Or if all of them will. I'm excited to see what God will do...and very much enjoying “having” to read “The Voyage of the 'Dawn Treader'”

Thankful for People

Okay Hannah inspired me to do this. Yes, I know it is almost a week after Thanksgiving.

These are some of the people I am particularly thankful for this year. I'm sure that there are many missing.

Mom-well what can I say, she is an amazing woman. She loves to serve and she does it well. I doubt that anyone has ever shown such loving service to her family as my mom.

Dad- He's always there to talk to about anything and every thing. He loves adventures and he loves his family. Most of all he loves God.

Trevor-He's the brother that I talk with, shop with, go to school with, work in ministry with. Yeah, we do just about anything together. We make a great team.

Cristian-My Chico can fix just about anything. He also is a loving brother. If you want an enthusiastic hello and goodbye whenever you come and go you can count on him.

Natalie- Wow, she has been so much to me this year, she has given countless words of advice this past year. She has prayed for me as I struggle. She's an amazing strong woman.

Katie-Ah girl you've been through so much this year yet you never once gave up on our friendship. Thanks for all you have meant through the years.

Amy- I know that she understands me when I'm talking. God has led both of us through such similar things and she is truly a companion on our way upward and onward.

Sara- I haven't seen you very much lately but I know as soon as I do see you it will be like we never really left. That is just the way you are.

Laura- What a girl. She has always been ready to be a friend to anyone no matter their age or talents or appearance.

Debbie- We have shared a lot of instant messages it has been so good to have someone there who cares.

Jon and Justin – You guys are awesome. I love going out for coffee with you two. Even though you know so many things I don't you are always willing to come down to my level and explain anything to me. It is great having such friends to work with. (Jon I miss you)

Corina and Vanessa- We have shared laughter and tears and several good talks thank you for those and your encouragement to grow in Christ.

Jerry and Heidie – What a relaxed joyful couple. They are always fun to be around and always easy to go to for anything.

Mandy- I'm so looking forward to being in school with you again. It will be so nice to have you. You are such a sweet girl. I truly enjoy every moment I spend with you.

Erin- You were great this summer. God has really given you an encouraging spirit.

Ari- God has given you so much talent. Thanks for using it for his kingdom

Spencer- I love working with you. You are so faithful and so good at what you do. I know I can count on you when things are looking down.

Every one else from the CEF team- You guys are the best. We had some amazing times this summer. God lead us through some difficult things and we hung strong. Good work!
Hannah- well for one you inspired me to write this. Also you are such a sweet girl. We have laughed many times together over everything and nothing.

Pastor Steve, Pastor Dax, Pastor Mark- I truly have caring pastors. Thank you for all of your teaching and guiding.

Alex, Eddie, Kyle, Wes, Ryan, Andrew, Grant, Bill, (and any other guys I missed)– it has been so nice to have you guys at school or playing at school. Sometimes it is so comforting knowing that there are godly guys at school.

The S family – You know who you are although I don't put last names on blogs. You guys are so much fun and I've enjoyed so many things about each member of your family. You are just so much fun to be with and to know.

Grandma and Poppy- Thanks for having me over for Coffee and for taking time for me. I am so thankful for the godly heritage I have been blessed with.

Grandma and Grandpa- I'm glad God has spared your lives and that you are still here for me to talk with. Thank you so much for your faithful prayers.

Emily- I'm excited to finally be getting to know you a little bit. I'm excited that we are learning the sound system together. You are so mature and so much fun to be with.

Brit- Thank you for the time you spend loving your family. You are such a good example to me. Thank you for your personality. You even me out and help me have the balance I need. You calm my passions and listen to me tirelessly.

Abbie- Ha, you are so much fun. I love talking with you or playing with you or doing just about anything with you.

Jeremy and Amy- I'm praying for you as the Lord leads you into new territory. Thanks for being my big brother Jeremy and for all the times you have listened to me and lead me closer to God Amy. I know it has been a long time since I have been close to you guys but you still mean a lot.

The D family- there have been times when it was almost like having a second family. Thank you for that and your lovely hospitality.

Amanda and Helyce- Thanks for being faithful friends. I look forward to seeing you more at school.

Heather, Hannah, Rosie- I've really been glad to get to do clubs with you. May the Lord bless you as you take over. Thanks for all your willing spirits.

Calli- I'm so blessed by your desire to serve God. You are so willing to do anything and go any where. I really appreciate you a lot and enjoy seeing how god is using you.

Shelby- Thank you for your sweet spirit and evident love for people.

Dani- Thanks for being a friend to both my mom and I. That is such a special thing. We appreciate you so much. I'm so glad I have you and for your calm cheerfulness.

Elizabeth and Bethany- Thanks girls for sharing so many happy memories with me. You two are truly wonderful people.

Amy and Beth- ha you girls are so much fun we've shared so many moments talking and laughing and being frustrated. Thanks for letting me hide under your desk and talk. Thanks for all your advice and help with school.

Level 2 technicians- Thanks for teaching me so much and helping me through so many calls

Every one at work.- Yeah I work in the best place ever because of the wonderful people there. You guys rock!

All of the older women (as in older than I am) at church - You have given me so many warm encouragements and pieces of advice.

I know that I'm missing some people so don't feel left out. So many people have been important in my life this year.

Keep on Keep'n on!

I just realized it has been a few days since I posted. Hmmm well I had a fabulous Thanksgiving break. Apparently it was too relaxing because my homework still isn't all done. Fortunately I don't have class until tomorrow so I have until then to finish. Good luck to all of you who start school again today. We only have two more weeks. We can do this every one. Keep looking up and trudging on!

Thanksgiving Break!

It is Thanksgiving break and we have many things to be thankful for. The first and most obvious is for the break. Yay, however looking a little deeper there are many more wonderful things to be thankful for than a break from school. There is family, friends, shelter, food, etc. I know I have been blessed above and beyond imaginable when it comes to my family. They are the perfect set of people for me. Also God has blessed me with numerous friends from many different places. I have friends from church, friends from school, friends from where I grew up etc. God is so good to give us the exact variety of people in our lives that we have!

Have a wonderful day everyone! Enjoy your break!

The Feet Man

This poem reminded a friend and I so much of what we really are doing when we sin that I just had to post it. Today a teacher hand us this poem and we listened to the author read it. It was amazing, so powerful, not only to put yourself into the sandals of the solder who nailed Jesus to the cross...but then to realize that that really is you. We as humans are all in the business of sinning. Before we became Christians our foreman was the foreman for the business of sin. He told us that we had to keep going if we wanted to keep our jobs. The good news is that we didn't. Those of use who have chosen Christ are no longer on Satan's assembly line. Praise God!

The Feet Man

The worst job I ever had was nailing
Jesus' feet to the cross on the
assembly line at the crucifix factory.
Jesus! I'd never thought of myself
as religious before that, but when
I had to strike those nails-- I figured
it up once—more than two thousand times
a day, my mind began seeing things:
little tremors along the skin, jerks of
those legs that were bonier than
models' legs, his eyes imploring,
forgiving. I swear, if a tiny drop of blood
had oozed out of that wood at my pounding,
I wouldn't have been surprised at all.
I was ripe for a miracle, or a vacation.
All I got was worse: with each blow
of the hammer, I flinched, as if I
were the one getting pierced. Doing
that job day after day was bad enough,
but doing it to myself—my arms
spread out from one end of my paycheck
to the other—was crazy. I began
to sweat constantly, though the place
was air-conditioned. It wasn't long before
the foreman took me aside and told me
I was taking my job too seriously, that
if I wanted to keep it I had better calm down.
He was right. I pulled myself together
like a man and put all pointless thought
out of my head. Or tried to. It wasn't easy:

imagine Jesus after Jesus coming down
at you along that line, and you with
your hammer poised, you knowing
what you have to do to make a living.

Philip Dacey 1991

Feet Like the Shepherd

“It is quite true that the up to the High Places is both difficult and dangerous,” said the Shepherd. “It has to be, so that nothing which is an enemy of Love can make the ascent and invade the Kingdom. Nothing blemished or in any way imperfect is allowed there,and the inhabitants of the High Places do need 'hinds' feet.' I have them myself,” he added with a smile, “and like a young hart of roebuck I can go leaping on the mountains and skipping on the hills with the greatest ease and pleasure.

Oh that we would all fallow the Shepherd despite the long journey and the accompaniment of Sorrow and Suffering so that we may have feet like the Shepherd. I'm so glad that He calls me to the High Places and gives me strength to follow Him there.

Preparing for Club Takes Over My Room

Preparing for clubs takes more than just time. It takes space. Lots and lots of space is taken up when I start getting ready for club. Got to get all of those snacks in place. Oh, and the curriculum all in the order that I'm going to teach it. Where is that candy box or the prize treasure box? Oh, don't forget the tickets. Remember the missionary story. Is the Bible story memorized? How can I best share the gospel with the kids this week? These are all things that need to be answered, sorted through, and organized before club starts.....and it takes my bedroom floor to do it. A small sacrifice for a great club.


Snacks and treats

Stories, lessons, visuals, verses

Good News Club member shirt

Change

Yes, this is still my blog. I just changed a few things. The title may be the biggest surprise. What does smiling sunrises me anyway? Well to me they mean smiling at each new opportunity God gives you. To be alive each day with a smile on your face happy for each small blessing that God gives you. To be excited for each ray of sunshine he brings to your life.

Grandpa's Beard

How could that man laying in that bed be the same man who's strong arms carried me safely across the roaring stream? How could he be so happy and so concerned about others when his once very active life is now spent in a nursing home bed? He has spent his whole life working hard to serve others. He served our country in WW II, provided for his family as a laborer and a farmer, and always gave the most patient love to each one of his grandchildren. Now, he sits in the nursing home praying for them. Time changes every thing. The grandfather that carried me across the raging river is the same man that I push in the wheelchair. It seems hard to believe, until you look into his eye and see that twinkle. Sometimes it is hard to see beyond the glazed over look he has so often but it is there, when he smiles and when he laughs I can remember the tickle of grandpa's beard when I gave him good night kisses as a little girl.

The Letter

“You have a letter at home.” The words didn't register at first as I looked confusedly at my father. “The one you have been waiting for.” he stated with drama. Oh, how was I going to possibly wait until after Bible study to go look at that letter “Is it good ?” I asked. “I don't know” was the simple reply. Well I knew that I needed to completely forget about it until after Bible study if I was going to be able to focus at all. But on the way home I was tempted, very tempted, to speed (I didn't for those of you who wanted to know....or at least not much) I ran into the house and looked on the kitchen counter for the letter. Wasn't there. So I looked on the dining room table. Wasn't there. So I asked my mother where it was. “Oh, in your room” she replied “You're going to read it before you even get your stuff out of the car?” she asked bemused. “Yes!!!” was my response as I ran down the hall and burt out the door toward my room (located just behind the house) there it was sitting on the chair by my desk. Reverently I picked it up and looked at it. It was heavy. It was thick. In a moment I ripped open the envelope. Glancing at the first two lines I saw the words I was looking for “Congratulation! You are one of the candidates we wish to welcome into Elementary Education and look forward to having you in the program.” YES!!!!!!

School Again

Getting ready for school again (after not having been on campus for a week) I almost forgot how to do that. This morning my mind was so confused – do I look ok? What books do I need? Do I have a lunch? It felt like a brand new quarter....until I looked at my books. Oh yeah, this is what I do. I study and ride the bus and study and sit in class and study and read and study and write and study and print out homework and study. Yeah. It's great. Good thing I like school!

We All Like Sheep

As I watch the sheep outside my bedroom window I'm reminded of how God compares us to wandering sheep. I really don't think that this is a compliment. Although it isn't raining at the moment I think of the sheep standing miserably in the rain. Their wool soaked and heavy. I guess they would rather stay out and be miserable than go into the warm bard that their shepherd (our family) has provided.

Sometimes I find myself doing this too with God. Rather than go into the shelter of His presence I would rather, in my own pride, take care of every thing all on my own. (yeah right like that really works)


We like sheep
have gone astray
and turned away from God
our hearts are stained
dark with sin
but Jesus' precious blood
paid the price for our sin
now we can be forgiven
and we like sheep
can hear His voice
and follow God each day

(VBS song)

Missionary Story -- Rebekah's Great Adventure -- Part One

The Missionary Story Part One

Rebekah listened closely. Her heart pounded with fear. The doctor was using words she'd never heard before-- words that scared her.

“you're having convulsions,” Dr. Kisler said in a serious tone. “I don't know what's causing them but I want to find out. That means you'll have to go to the hospital for a wile—probably this summer.”

Rebebekah wanted to run and hide. She wanted to pretend she was okay—that nothing had changed She'd been sick for a while but she'd learned to ignore the times she blacked out or forgot things. She'd learned to pretend that her throbbing head didn't really hurt that much. But now everything was falling apart. Dr. Kisler wasn't going to let Rebekah pretend any longer.

At home Rebekah buried her head in her pillow. “Oh God,” she cried, “I want to do something for You this summer. I want to go to Christian youth In Action training camp and teach 5-Day Clubs but now I can't I want to reach the children who don't believe in you—who have never heard about you—but how can I unless You let me”? How can I unless You make me well?”

God heard Rebekah's cry and answered her prayer. Dr. Kisler gave his permission for Rebekah to go to camp. “I can't stop you from going,” Dr. Kisler said solemnly, “but please be very, very careful. Take care of yourself.”

Rebekah did take care of herself. She ate well and rested often. The days at training camp were long and Rebekah worked hour after hour to learn everything she needed to know in order to teach the children. Rebekah's parents. Brother and sister prayed for her from home, asking God to give her strength. When Rebekah's head hurt too much to sit at her desk, she propped herself up in a lawn chair and listened closely to the training classes. Rebekah was happy to be at camp and made friends quickly with the girls there. She was finally doing what she'd dreamed of doing for so long.

But late one afternoon something horrible happened. Rebekah collapsed on the dormitory floor and no one could wake her up. Was Rebekah going to be okay? Would she be able to fulfill her dream of teaching 5—Day Clubs?

Come back next week to find out what happens to Rebekah.

Good News Club

Tickets, candy, games, songs, snacks, soccer moms, kids, hugs, hours of preponderation rewarded. Yeah, that sounds like a Good News Club. Although those things are all part of a GNC the heart and soul of these special clubs is that we share the Gospel and that kids come to Christ. This is why we continue on week after week pouring hours into preparations. This is why not one minute with those kids or spent for those kids is a waste of time. I hope to spend all of eternity with those kids. I want to start investing in them now. They are so worth it.

My heart's desire has been to have a club that was over 20 kids now the Lord has blessed one of the clubs I help with with that many kids. Now my prayer is for 30 kids or more. However another club only has two. I prepare for both and they are both worth every moment of my time. My part is only to be ready. It is God's part to bring the children to the club. That is such a relief to me. If I was responsible for making sure they come I would be extremely discouraged. However it isn't and I can be faithful and God is faithful.

Elections Past

Although I know that many of us are very sad about the outcome of the elections, some of the facebook statuses I saw last night were downright depressed, I know that God provides for His people. Although I don't know what the future holds and I feel extremely uncertain about tomorrow I can hope in God because I have confidence in where I'm spending eternity.

Even though the initiative 1000 was not turned down and assisted suicide will become more and more the norm I know that I have a God that has created life and gives life eternal.

Whatever your thoughts are on this election, no matter how you are feeling we have a God that is in control of it all. He sees every thing that happens. The blood of the innocent has been crying out to Him and He is not deaf. His will is done and we know Who wins in the end.

Rose from Brier

Thou hast not that, My child, but thou hast Me,
And am I not alone enough for thee?
I know it all, know how thy heart was set
Upon this joy which is not given yet.
And well I know how through the wistful days
Thou walkest all the dear familiar ways,
As unregarded as a breath of air,
But there in love and longing, always there.
I know it all; but from thy brier shall blow
A rose for others.
If it were not so I would have told thee.
Come, then, say to Me,
My Lord, my Love,
I am content with Thee.

-Amy Carmichael

If My People

“If My people will humble themselves and pray....” that was the thought going over and over in my head as I prayed for and thought about the upcoming elections. In four days we will know who will win this election. The thing that I keep reminding myself of is that God knows now, and He “controls the heart of the king.”

Job 17

It appears in Job 17 that Job is in a state of utter despair. From the very start of this chapter in verse one we see that Job is wishing to be in the grave. He shuns the mocking of those around him and seems to be making the excuse for his friends that the truth about his suffering has been hidden from them. This seems like a very generous act considering that they are his friends and are sitting there watching him and yet seem to have little compassion. He is at a very low state emotionally and seems to be searching for the meaning of life. He seems to not understand what is going on and is trying to remind himself of good things. In verse nine he talks about the righteous but directly following that in verse ten he is sinking right back into despair. In verse eleven it seems as though he has already completely given up on life. He shows no sign of thinking he will ever come out of this hardship. He goes on in verse thirteen to beautifully explain, despite it's sheer darkness, how the grave is his home. This is a beautiful metaphor showing extreme comfort in death and no desire to live. It seems like Job is just waiting for the day he can die. It is just a matter of time until death overtakes him and he has nothing to live for until then. His life has become all about waiting for death. He has not hope. As we found in verse one he is in utter despair here again in verse thirteen. In verse fourteen Job seems to even give up on righteousness. Though he has been a righteous man it has profited him nothing. This seems to be a conformation that really truly he doesn't care about anything other than to be done with the life he is living. He doesn't even care about righteousness and wants to become as if he were family with corruption. I believe that the worm he is speaking about is death and rottenness of body after death. Even the ugliness involved with a dead body is better, in his mind, to him than living life the way it is now. In verse fifteen he asks the rhetorical question: “Where is my hope?” this isn't really a question as we know that he has no hope at this point. It is only one more beautiful way of pointing towards his hopelessness. In the final verse of this chapter he speaks again of death. This chapter seems to be full of both despair in death and a desperate desire to be dead and not have to live in the horrible existence that Job now finds himself.

Friends and School and Fun

Running, kicking, falling, jumping, sliding – an excellent way to spend an evening after taking finals and turning in papers. Playing soccer always reminds me of Central America, the dirt there smells different though (believe me, I know). It is so good to play with friends no matter where we are at any stage in life. I would have never guessed I would play soccer or softball with friends from college. I guess I always viewed college and beyond as a very serious thing where you just sit around and talk...after a few years you start sitting around and talking and knitting. We aren't to that stage yet. Maybe give us another 60 years and we can just sit around. For now, I need to move after sitting at an uncomfortable desk that has an arm that grabs around me and holds me down for hours on end. Yay for friends to brighten the day!

Friendship DOUBLES our JOYS and DIVIDES our SORROW.

Our lives are filled with joys and blessings without end and one of the greatest joys is to have a friend

Friction in Life

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.

-Chinese Proverb

Jaberwocky

Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws theat catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought-
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in though.

And, as in uffish though he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

- Lewis Carroll


This is a poem that I'm using for study in my English 370 (Intro to language) class. Words that mean nothing are so much fun! I'm really enjoying all the nonsense that takes place in that class and in my homework. But now I must study for my midterm....there is nothing nonsense about that.

Response to What the Green Tree Said

"What the Green Tree Said" is a poem by MacLeish that I read and wrote about for my Scriptural Lit class. MacLeish, wrote several poems about the garden of Eden and the fall of man.

The opening words start boldly with “Wakening is forbidden” the fruit of that tree would show Adam and Eve good from evil as if it was awakening them from a sleep. MacLeish seems to start very strongly with the fact that they knew the fruit was forbidden and also reminds of of what the serpent had told Eve that the fruit would open their eyes, perhaps as one awakens and opens her eyes. Then he gives examples of nature to tell us who all this act would affect. It would affect the space, time, star, stone (representing earth perhaps), bird and beast. MacLeish seems to be suggesting that when Adam and Eve awoke to know good and evil inherently the rest of creation did as well. With the act of eating the apple accomplished now all of creation was a part of this awakening, not just the participants. Each of these are “wakers” who see what “has been hidden” the author seems to be suggesting that until now all evil has been hid from all of creation and will now be reviled. They will now be awakened to what innocence, of sleep, had hidden before. MacLeish says “Wakers will no longer rest” this line seems to be referring to the fact that once Adam and Eve took the fruit they were cast from the garden and never allowed to return. Creation had been spoiled and would never be the same again. In the last line MacLeish suggests that there would never be that sleep or innocence to nakedness and sin. They would never rest as they were commanded, or bidden, to by God when he said not to eat of that tree. The most interesting part of this poem may be that it is written in the perspective of the tree. The tree saw all that happened, saw the command being given by God, saw the taking of the fruit, saw Adam and Eve being cast out of the out of the garden. It makes me think of what it would have been like to be there and see all of this. MacLeish seems to be alluding in the title itself how sad it would be to see this awakening that would keep innocence from ever returning to creation.

Isaiah 18 1-7

This was a post that I made on Blackboard for my Scriptural lit class. I've been enjoying this class quite a lot.


Isaiah is warning the people of the destruction to come and the woes that will follow. In the writing of these verses we see much metaphor in these verses especially pertaining to the land and peoples of the earth. In verses one and two he makes reference to the land although these references could be meaning the country rather than the land as in the ground itself. Verse three even states “all ye inhabitants of the world, and dwellers on the earth” it would appear that Isaiah is speaking to people who knew the earth well, perhaps to farmers. In verse four he goes on by giving a metaphor about plants or herbs and the harvest. In verse five he refers to the harvest of grapes as a metaphor of what will happen to the people. If they are truly farmers and keepers of vineyard they would understand very well about the pruning hooks to cut off the grapes. In verse six there is a reference of being left to the wild animals. It appears from the descriptive language that Isaiah and the people he is addressing knew about wild animals and had a fear of the destruction they could bring. Verse seven is when it is truly relieved that Isaiah is referring to the people. The people shall be pealed from the earth the waters spoiled. Although this is the first portion that shows blatantly that this section is about the people it seems that the people knew, because of their culture, throughout the chapter that these references about the ground were really about them. Isaiah, uses metaphorical language throughout his entire book so it is likely that these people used metaphor also. It also seems likely that they used story telling as Isaiah seems to use a lot of connectors or linking words as part of his language. It may be that these people Isaiah is addressing used a lot of metaphoric language in their every day lives and as a method for story telling. It is in the metaphoric rhetoric that we see into the lives of these people of the earth and understand their fear of the wild animals and their understanding of growing things. Also we understand the impact that Isaiah's words would have on theme in his metaphors. They would understand very well exactly the horror of what Isaiah is warning against.

The Road

Last night I slept very few hours. Why? Because of the book I was reading. After I finished I looked at the back cover where it states that it is “unputdownable” that was an understatement. At one point I was ready to throw it down hop on a plane (pajamas and all) and do something (I didn't know what) about the condition in Cambodia. I was reading the autobiography of Somaly Mam called The Road of Lost Innocence it is the story of a girl who was sold into the human slave trade and about the horrors she went through. (I'll refrain from going into any more detail for my more squeamish readers.) The part that truly inspired me was what she did after she went through that living hell. She went back and helped other girls in the same condition. This book inspired me to find what I can do to help those in the most horrible earthly conditions possible and to pray more fervently for them. I don't know yet what I can do to help these girls more. However, I do intend to pray for them daily. Please join your prayers with mine before the throne of God.

Can You Hear Me?

Can you hear me? Does anyone around me
Feel the way that I feel now?
Cause from the window where I sometimes cry
I just want to see Your face tonight
And I'm willing to lose everything I am

Cause I need you more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone.

When You're near me, I feel like I just found me
In the traces of the boy from yesterday
But in a world that is so black and white
I will take the steps to change my life
And I won't be coming back to here again

I need Your loving hand to guide me
Through the maze of all the things inside me
Then I'll know that I'm alright

Cause I need You more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone
Please help me get from worse to better
Before these tears soak through this lonely sweater
And let me know that I'm alright
I still have one strike of this match left
And I'm holding on to my last breath
And its getting a little dark around to see here

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on it will be alright
You're not alone

And You'll be here forever, forever You'll stay
And You promised to love me, You'll love me always
You'll love me for always, You'll love me for always
Always

Changing Seasons

On a normal morening in the Indian summer my legs would start itching to go for a nice long run. However this morning was no indian summer. No, it was indeed fall. The leaves are all different colors and the the mist was bone chilling. Each season of life is different. Some may be like Indian summer, full of wamth and energy. Others may be like a cold fall day and the last memories of summer are faiding away. The end of summer may truely be uppon us (I'll admit that fall is here for good once Thanksgiving comes) but I feel as though my life is enjoying a rich and beautiful spring. God is blessing me in so many ways. My life is His garden and I rejoice to have Him there caring for and causing the garden to bear the fruit that only the Master can produce. Without Him I am simply the rocky ground with weeds of sin all around it, but with much toil and patience He has lovingly cleared a spot for His love to grow in my heart.

hmmm that was somewhat random. I guess I just get excited about God.

Another Rough Draft

Thoughts on Apocalypse Now

Edward O. Wilson Essay in his essay Apocalypse Now makes the remarkable proposal that science and religion should work together for the good of humanity. His essay is written in the form of a letter of request to a Southern Baptist pastor. Having grown up in a church I understand the line of thought of his audience. I understand, as one guilty of such, that the church can appear cold or even hostile to opposing view points. Scientists, also, can be closed to any view points that do not fit with the way they interpret evidence. Despite the frequent close mindedness of both parties Wilson makes is request for cooperation. This seems to be more than valid and right as Christians consider it their duty to better humanity as do environmental scientists. The question isn't so much should religion and science work together and it isn't why they haven't in the past, the past doesn't really matter or hold a valid affect on what can be. The question is how can science and religion work together when they have been riveted for centuries. Wilson doesn't answer this question but he does suggest taking some first steps together to make the earth a better place. This seems to be a mature and courageous step.

Wilson doesn't state exactly how he intends to work with his reader to better the world by having science and the Christian religion work in collaboration he simply makes the request that they forget the differences that they have had for decades and unite for the goal that they both hope to see archived: the world changed for the better, saving all who live upon it. Wilson makes this request not only validly but also respectfully. He doesn't appear to be accusing this pastor or any one with religious beliefs of causing the split between religion and science. He is simply stating that there is a rift and requesting that the work together to mend that rift so that they can both be more affective.

Although I was not the intended reader of this essay I find it rather compelling. I am a Christian and my religion is very important to me yet I also have an interest in science. Because of my faith I do not agree with the interpretations of evidence that some scientists conclude with and I know of individuals who work in scientific fields who hold strongly to their beliefs. This may tamper with the way that they interpret evidence however an atheists could just as easily have his lack of belief in a god tamper with the conclusions he makes about evidence found. This should indicate that there is no reason for Christians not to be scientists nor for scientists not to be evangelical Christians. My musings go a little father than the proposal by Wilson to the idea that religion and science could become one identity. True there will always be various forms of finding data and processing data yet perhaps there can be unity and advising and support from both fields towards one another. This gives a Utopian like image of scientists and religious pastors working together and saving the world. I don't believe that simply unifying religion and science that the world will automatically become a utopia but it might like Wilson suggests make the world better and this unity may be something to pursue.

Wilson doesn't ignore the fact that there are some fundamental differences in world view between his intended reader and himself he states “Of course, in doing so, [asking for counsel and help]I see no way to avoid the fundamental differences in our worldviews. You are a strict interpreter of Christian Holy Scripture; I am a secular humanist. You believe that each person's soul is immortal...I think heaven and hell are what we create for ourselves on this planet.” This shows an astute awareness that he knows there will still be differences and that he realizes there will be struggles and disagreements in working together. My thoughts on this is that he is more than right in saying this. When any two groups of people come together there will invariably be disagreements and what may be even more difficult to work through misunderstandings and differences in ways of communicating evidence.

I thought it was very insightful and tactful the way that Wilson suggested that these differences do indeed exist and cannot be changed however they can be worked around to accomplish a common goal. If Wilson were saying that these differences are not important then I would have to disagree with that. However he is simply suggesting that in some areas Christians and scientists work together. I believe that this working together may result in some form of change or enlightenment if you will. It could be called conversion. Since I believe in a real heaven and a real hell it would be doing any one I come in contact with a disfavor not to warn them and tell them of my conserns for them. It is not my goal to change their lives to be more like mine nor to make their point any less valid or to raise myself as one who has all of the answers. It is just that as we exchange ideas we will expose both the things that we agree upon and those that we disagree. I think that Wilson would agree with this where he admits “You may be wrong; I may be wrong. We both may be partly right.” He also suggests however that when it comes to working together we should forget our differences and see what we agree on. He as the scientist and the pastor are as he says “both humanists in the broadest sense: human wefare is at the center of our thought. So forget our disagreement, I say, and let us meet on common ground.” This seems a bold yet freeing suggestion that I think could result in great good.

I believe it is important for both those in the secular world and those from the religious world to not get so caught up in their own worldviews that they cannot see the views of the other. For example I as a Christian do not believe that I should never pay attention to what a secular scientist says. He may have some very truthful points that I can glean insight from. I should make a point of understanding people around me who have different religious views whether they be atheist, Muslim, Mormon or so forth. It seems just as likely though that any one else from any other worldview should be open minded to the possibility of the truth of the Bible and teaching of the Christian church.

As a reader of this essay I feel inspired to work alongside people who have different view points and make an effort to appreciate our differences and strive off of our likenesses so that we can weave our ideas together and make a stronger force for our common goals. Although I will still make an effort to tell others about what I believe and show them the truth found in that. However I also want to work together in the areas that we can and perhaps we will both become stronger in our goals.

Lion

Mysterious
That's what I call You
I'm curious about You
I'm scared and not sure that You are safe
But Your eyes seem to say that You are good

Chorus
This is not a dream that I'm living
This is just a world of Your own
You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together
I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is (an angel)

Wise eyes, You see the core of me
Your gentleness melts me
And now I know that words cannot describe
The power that I feel when I'm with You

Chorus
This is not a dream that I'm living
This is just a world of Your own
You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together
I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is

Peace and power, love forever
Who am I to stand before You?
I am speechless
But in my weakness
You are here and all is well

You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together
I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is (an angel)

Chorus
This is not a dream that I'm living
This is just a world of Your own
You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together
I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is (an angel)

is an angel

- Rebecca St. James

"You know He isn't a tame Lion."

Mr. Tumnas

What Life Would Be Like

I wish I was more of a man
Have you ever felt that way
And if I had to tell you the truth
I'm afraid I'd have to say
That after all I've done and failed to do
I feel like less than I was meant to be

What if I could fix myself
Maybe then I could get free
I could try to be somebody else
Who's much better off than me
But I need to remember this
That it's when I'm at my weakest
I can clearly see

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live thru you and me

What if you could see yourself thru another pair of eyes
What if you could hear the truth
Instead of old familiar lies
What if you could feel inside
The power of the hand that made the universe You'd realize

That He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live thru you and me

Yeah, yeah

All our hearts they burn within us
All our lives we've longed for more
So let us lay our lives before the one who gave His life for us

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live thru you and me

Yeah, yeah
Let Him live through you and me
Yeah, yeah


-Big Daddy Weave

Genesis 32:24-32

Jacob Wrestles
24Then Jacob was left alone, and a man (A)wrestled with him until daybreak.
25When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him.

26Then he said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking." But he said, "(B)I will not let you go unless you bless me."

27So he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob."

28(C)He said, "Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but [a]Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed."

29Then (D)Jacob asked him and said, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And he blessed him there.

30So Jacob named the place [b]Peniel, for he said, "(E)I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved."

31Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed over (F)Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh.

32Therefore, to this day the sons of Israel do not eat the sinew of the hip which is on the socket of the thigh, because he touched the socket of Jacob's thigh in the sinew of the hip.

I keep wanting to read this passage over and over again. There are so many things that I keep thinking about. My thoughts go something like this. They really wrestled all night? Who just all of a sudden decides to have a wrestling match with a stranger instead of sleeping at night?

I haven't found an answer to these questions yet but I have found other interesting insights. I find it amazing that a human being was said to be able to wrestle with God and prevail. I wonder if this statement indicates more than just that nights events. I wonder if Jacob had wrestled emotionally with the will of God. We know from previous chapters that he wrestled psychologically with his brother and with his father inlaw. I wonder what Jacob was thinking when he realized he had seen God face to face and that he had wrestled with God. I think that I would be scared yet I wonder if we sometimes wrestle with God.

There have been people who report that they resisted God's irresistible love and grace before they decided to believe in Him as the one and only true God. If we do wrestle with God, do we feel that fear that we would expect Jacob felt when wrestling with God physically or does it not seem as real since it is in our hearts and minds? If we do wrestle with God, in some sense of the word, how do we know if we prevail as Jacob was said to have or if God prevails. Since this is an emotional matter I would imagine that it would be hard to tell. I still wonder though, how do we know when or if we wrestle with God and who is winning.

This question can be easily dismissed if you believe that God is a mythical creature created for the amusement in stories in the Bible. What if that assumption is wrong? What if He does live and is a divine being that we can talk with and wrestle with in a way not unlike the way Jacob wrestled with Him? I can only conclude that if we wrestle with God we should, as the Israelites did for generations, commemorate the occasion with the way we live our lives.

I was able to write this as a class assingment for my English 336 Scriptural Litterature class. I just praise the Lord for a class like this one.

Lord Most High

From the ends of the earth
From the depth of teh sea
From the heights of the heavens
Your name be praised

Throughout the endless ages
You will be crowned with praises, Lord Most High
Exalted in every nation, Soverign of all creation
Lord Most High, be magnified

From the hearts of the weak
From the shouts of teh strong
From the lips of all people
This song we raise Lord

It's Your Blood

It's your Blood that cleanses me
It's your blood that give me life
It's you blood that took my place
In redeeming sacrifice
Wahses me....Whiter than the snow, than the snow
My Jesus, God's precious Sacrifice

You are the Potter

You are the Potter I am the clay
You're will, not mine, be done
Please mold me and lead me in your way
Until my life, a victory won

Please hold me gently lest I fall
Keep me close to your side
Teach me to listen to your soft gentle call
And may I fall into your arms open wide

Your burden is light
And easy to bear
But give me the might
To wait in time of unanswered prayer

My mind is confused
And my heart is in pain
As for the countries good a soldier is used
May it all be to Christ's gain

As I wait longingly for You
And hold fast to Your Word
May each day fly by
As in your timing You fulfill the promises I have heard.

My Job

So much to do so little time…between answering the phone for the entire company, helping customers with technical support, processing hundreds of orders, taking callbacks for sales, boxing packages in shipping I am kept fairly busy at my job. Most of the time I am just Janel at customer support answering the phone and telling customers what to do to make their software work. I enjoy my job and the people I work with. I’m convinced that my department and my manager are the best in the entire company (if not the entire country). Since I came back to my job at the end of the summer things have been busy but relaxing. Each day I get to work early and leave early and have the majority of the afternoon to spend time with my family, work in my garden and read lots of books.

Soon this will all change and I’ll be going back to school. I’m excited to be back in the academic environment. I have not been to school in over a year and I’m excited to meet new people and learn new things. I may be working part time at my job which also excites me a lot. I’ll miss seeing every one every day….but at least for a while I’ll still be working one day a week and will be able to spend time with my friends and my customers then.

The Grass

Grass cannot call for dew asn I do. Surely the Lord who visits the unparying plant will answer His pleading child.
C.H. Spurgeon

Leadership Part 2

As I looked through the Bible for places where the word “lead” was mentioned I found a variety of things. I think that each of the different references has a very different meaning, some are comforting, some are commands, some are facts fro history. I wanted to share some of the ones that were special to me with you.


Hebrews 13:17 “obey your leaders, and submit to them; for they keep watch over your souls”

This was a very sobering for me both as someone under the authority who needs to obey, but even more as someone who has a certain amount of authority and who is to keep watch over the souls of those who I'm in leadership over. This is especially sobering when I think about the fact that it is my hearts desire to be a mother some day. I will be in part for watching out for the souls of my children as I lead them. Scary.

Psalms 23:2 “He leads me beside quiet waters”

Oh, was a great promise. This must be one of the most comforting passages found in scripture. The Lord leads us beside still waters. These aren't just any waters. These are not fast moving waters...sheep are afraid of fast moving waters. No, this is waters where the Shepherd can bring His sheep and they have no fear. I imagine deep quiet pools of fresh water. Perhaps there is the stream of God's word pouring into our hearts as God brings us to the still and quiet waters of a heart at peace with Him.

Isaiah 53:7 “...Like a lamb that is led to slaughter...”

Mark 15:20 “...[they] led Him out to crucify Him”

Jesus allowed Himself to be led to the worst place of all. He was led not only to the pain of crusifiction but also to separation from the Father God. The first and last time in all of history when the Trinity was separated. It may be that some day we face persecution and will be led to slaughter for what we believe but fortunately we will never be led in this way away from the Fathers love. The only thing that can lead us away is our own selfishness and empty conceit.

Romans 15:20 “For all who are being led by the spirit of God, these are sons of God”

Oh, I long so much to be led by the spirit of God, but too often I find myself being led by other things. That old man keeps popping in his ugly face and I have to chose to slay him daily. God empowers me to do this but I still much chose to use that empowerment and resist the urge to be led by things other than God.

Leadership is a passion of mine. I do want to obey those who God has placed in authority but I find this a less daunting task than leading. I want to be able to follow the Lord so that I can lead those he puts over me. I hope and pray that He will give me children some day that I will be responsible for leading to Himself and I hope to be well prepared as a leader and teacher for them.

This concludes this series. I figured I should keep it short and sweet this time since last time was so long and stretched out. I hope to keep with this trend and have shorter more compact series. One of my desires in this blog is to challenge your thinking and to bring you to the word of God.

Leadership Part 1

This summer I learned a lot about leading. Actually I learned a lot more than I would have liked to. The most important thing that I learned is that if the leader has a good relationship with the Lord not every thing will automatically go well, but if the leader has a bad relationship with the Lord then things will automatically go wrong.

Wow, I've never had a time where I had to distance myself from what I was feeling quite like I did this summer. There were so many times when I just had to give something to the Lord because there was nothing I could do. There were also times, more than I would like to admit, that I took matters into my own hands and fretted over situations until I became weepy and despondent. Nothing like having a depressed director.

The Lord did wonders in my life to show me my sin of pride when it came to leading. There were times when I needed to be firm about what was right even when I so wanted to join in on what wasn't so right. My flesh longed to be a part of what every one else was doing, but if I had participated then things would have become very unruly. God also showed me that a leader must admit when they are wrong. I had to do this multiple times this summer and there are probably things that I should have admitted that I didn't even think of or know about.

Even when I was responding rightly to the Lord the day wasn't guaranteed to go well. I could have a great time with the Lord and be well prepared, but Satan could stick his little face in the way of every thing we were doing and ruin the day. Many times I prayed for the protection of those I was leading from the devils whiles. God did answer my prayer in this and helped the other leaders and I believe the children to grow more in godliness.

The biggest lesson I learned is that it is neither easy nor fun to be the one in charge. Being the top dog may sound like fun for a little while, but then see how you like it once something goes wrong and you are the one responsible for making sure that it gets fixed. What about when people aren't getting along and you are responsible for getting to the bottom of the matter. What about when someone gets hurt and you are the lucky one who gets to explain to parents. There really are more miserable jobs than fun jobs when it comes to leading. It isn't something you chose for fun but that you chose because you must. God did not give me peace last winter until I agreed to lead camps for this summer. I think it is a good thing God doesn't really give us a choice in these things of what our preference would be, because I know I would always take the easy way and if I always take the easy way then I know that I will never grow.

Another thing that I learned was to appreciate the leaders in my life more. Working with several pastors this summer showed me the agony that they constantly go through with every thing I had to deal with and so much more. They learn to do it with grace and diligence. Each pastor I got to know worked very hard and cared about people very very much. I was so glad that I got to see them in action and learn from their example. I truly admire spiritual leaders.

Rock Climbing

Hiking is one of outdoor experiences that I enjoy most. Whether I'm backpacking and spending a long strenuous weekend in the mountains, or just going for a stole in the relaxingly flat surfaces of the Midwest and east coast I enjoy walking (or climbing) in God's creation. God is so good to give us this beautiful creation, and for most of us the ability to enjoy it. I truly believe that more people should use this ability to see what God has done. There just in not any thing like coming over a peek and seeing a glacier below your feet, or watching the wild flowers poke their brave heads above the ground and start to blossom.



Even though I enjoy hiking what I enjoy even more is climbing over big boulders or getting to the top of a steep ridge and knowing that I just pulled myself up a cliff face. Although a rock climbing trip isn't complete until I almost fall to my death (or at least great pain) it is all worth it for that feeling of satisfaction that you get as your arms effortlessly (or not) lift your body over a ledge and you collapse at the top.


Today my dad and brothers and I were reminded just how beautiful creation is and how much fun it is to be out in it. These are a few pictures of out trip.

Submission Part Five

This series has gotten quite spread out and I understand that it is probably hard to follow. Most of you probably didn't realize I was doing a series at all. Well this is the last post on this series and I promise that the next one I do will be more organized. Hopefully this will make sense to you even though the thoughts in this post will come from several different directions and are rather disorganized. I thought it would only be fitting for such an unorganized series to have an unorganized last post.

As we have talked about before the Bible tells us in Ephesians 5:21 that submission is something for every one. We are all required in one way or another to submit. For some this is in the family, for some this is in government. We all submit to God. Some people are even called to submit by leading. God is so organized that He showed us exactly what various people are supposed to do to submit

Wives are supposed to be under the authority of their husbands
Husbands are to love their wives
Children are to obey their parents
Parents are not to provoke their children
Slaves are to obey their masters
Masters are not to threaten their slaves

The Bible also gives some organizational outlines in the Bible for the church. We are told how elders and deacons are supposed to live their lives, by leading their family well, and being self controlled. We are also shown the role that men and women play. One highly debated sections in the Bible is about the role of women when it comes to teaching and preaching...or the lack of their role

1 Timothy 2:11-12 Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.

I have been told that this section of the Bible is completely ridiculous because that word quietly actually means silent and therefore it would be a sin for a woman to sneeze in church and certainly unacceptable for her to sing hymns and praise songs. But as the Bible Knowledge Commentary shares with us this same word is used other places in the Bible to mean calm or peaceful. The women are to remain calm. It is commonly thought that there were women in the church that Timothy was pastor of who were controlling the church by their arguing with the teaching that was going on. They were not peaceful as God is commanding through Paul and Timothy.

One difficult area of the Bible to accept is the command for a woman to submit to her unsaved husband.

1 Peter 3:1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.

There are several women that I know who are married to ungodly men. It is very hard to me to accept that they should submit to them. Yet here Peter is commanding this as the way they are to win their husbands souls. The Bible really does not give an excuse not to follow the role models set in Ephesians 5 and 6 There may be some cases because of great sin that it is not possible to follow these commands. However, the Bible does not seem to show an example of when this is. As we well know those things which the Bible does not give explicit commands about are the hardest things in live to deal with normally. Yet God does give us principles to follow and is our duty to learn how we are to follow these principles.

Well I've come to the end of my series. It was stretched out and long thank you for your patience. Perhaps I'll write more posts on what I find on the topic of submission and obedience and how they obtain to our lives. The thing that I learned most about submission and obedience is that they were created for order. Our God is not a God of disorder but of order.

Whom Have I in Heaven?

Whom have I in Heaven but Thee oh Lord?
And besides Thee I desire nothing on earth
My heart and my flesh may fail
But God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart
And my portion forever

CCL#2024181

The Young Timothy (another book report from the Bible)

When I read the book “Do Hard Things” I thought of the books of Timothy written to a young man doing a hard thing.

1 Timothy
The first book to Timothy is where my pastor has been preaching from for the last few weeks. It has been encouraging to me this summer because it tells about Paul's instructions to young Timothy about standing up to those older who are giving falls teaching. Sometimes I think I know just how Timothy felt, all alone, left in charge or a body of people who are not necessarily following God's ways. Paul gives Timothy advice for how to instruct these unruly men and the rest of the congregation.

2 Timothy
In the second letter from Paul to Timothy Paul gives even more instructions to Timothy regarding the church. Paul exhorts Timothy to be strong and to stand as an unashamed workman for Christ. This book is all about Paul encouraging Timothy and exhorting him to stand firm in the faith even though tough times come.

Some Book Reports

Philemon (A book report from the Bible)

I thought that I would write some book reports on books of the Bible. The book of Philemon, I feel, relates very well to the first book report I gave “Twice Freed” which was about the slave mentioned in the book of Philemon, Onesimus.

Philemon is an all but forgotten book of the Bible. Nestled between Titus and Hebrews it is one of Paul's prison letters. He wrote it to a specific family and the church that worshiped in their home. It gives encouragement to the church and an endorsement



Good News About Injustice by Gary A. Haugen

Why does God allow that? How can the wicked get away with what they do? If those are questions you have ever asked yourself then this is the right book for you. I ask myself those questions frequently (far more frequently than I ought) the answer is: God has done something! He has put you and I and all Christians here on this earth to do His will. His will is justice. We are to be the salt of the earth and to defend the fatherless and provide for the widow. It is our job, and by the look of thing we have dropped the ball. We need to be in the world fighting for the rights of those who cannot fight for themselves. This book tells about Gary Haugen's experiences as he works with International Justice Mission: http://www.ijm.org/



Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot

Elisabeth Elliot is one of my favorite authors so it s a special treat for me every time I get to read about her own life. Passion and Purity was a review for me but each time I read it I'm in a different position in life and it brings refreshment for how I observe the world around me especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Elisabeth Elliot has a passion for honoring the Lord and an honesty that I admire and respect. This particular book is about the courtship that she had with Jim Elliot and how the Lord led both of them during this time in their lives that required them to wholly rely on the Lord.

Another Year

The Lord is so good to give me another year to grow and to learn more about him. I'm so thankful for a wonderful birthday with family and friends...and such a fabulous nap. Some of you know but for those who don't the activity that I wanted most for my birthday was to take a nap. It was beautiful.

Good News About Injustice (a book report)

Good News About Injustice by Gary A. Haugen
Why does God allow that? How can the wicked get away with what they do? If those are questions you have ever asked yourself then this is the right book for you. I ask myself those questions frequently (far more frequently than I ought) the answer is: God has done something! He has put you and I and all Christians here on this earth to do His will. His will is justice. We are to be the salt of the earth and to defend the fatherless and provide for the widow. It is our job, and by the look of thing we have dropped the ball. We need to be in the world fighting for the rights of those who cannot fight for themselves. This book tells about Gary Haugen's experiences as he works with International Justice Mission: http://www.ijm.org/

Do Hard Things (a book report)

Do Hard Things by Alex and Bret Harris
Wow, what a rebelution against this generations low standards. About two years ago I started reading the Harris twin's website The Rebelution http://www.therebelution.com/blog/ when they came out with a book I was very excited but it wasn't until recently that I actually got around to reading the book. Their book gives examples of some hard things that teenagers can do that you would never have imagined. Sometimes I feel like my life is hard or that I have obstacles to surmount. This book showed me that I could do even more than that, that I could do things much much harder than what I thought. There were times this summer when I felt I was at a breaking point. This book helped me to see that I can do way more than I did this summer. The Harris brothers give examples of great American's from the past who made choices as young people that made them into the great people we remember them as. They also give examples of teenagers in present times leading political campaigns, leading campaigns for the poor, and organizing large rallies that honor Christ. I would suggest this book greatly for any teenager or any one who works with teens or any one who is considered a young person in society.

Twice Freed (a book report)

Twice Freed by Patricia St. John
This was a short children's book by one of my favorite children's authors. The story begins about a boy named Onisomis and his struggle in slavery. He meets a beautiful girl and would like to someday marry her, however his slavery stands in the way. Every thing he wants in life requires him to be free. His heart is heavy with the thought of being a slave always. Beginning to steal a few items from his master he saves them away and when he finds the opportunity runs away and boards a ship headed far away. Eventually he ends up in Rome where he meets up with the apostle Paul. Onisomis knows that he must go back. He is somewhat fearful of meeting his master and the masters son again. However he also has faith that they will accept him because on a previous visit with Paul Onisomis' master had become a Christian. To find out more abut the story read the book of Philemon.

This Time of Relaxation

Now that the business of the summer has dissipated I have had a lot of time for reading I'll be posting some book reports. I hope that these reports will encourage you to read these books for yourself. It has been wonderful to just have time to sit and read and read and read. Most days I get home from work around 3:00 and there is not much to do until it is time to help with dinner so I hang out with my brothers or read. I am so thankful that the Lord gives us these times to rest and reflect because it has been so good for me and it has changed my perspective on life to be much more positive and ready to respond to His next steps for me.

Friday Nights and Mid Week Gatherings

Football, keep away in the pool, bowling, pizza, volleyball, guitar hero. Yeah those things pretty much sum up the times that we would get together as the two teams. After working hard there was a need to play hard. There is no better way to play hard than to tackle each other in the pool or to run across the field chasing a football. All of this playing hard on top of working hard made for a large consumption of pizza. Yes, if it came down to it we could probably keep Little Caesars in business. The midweek gatherings and the Friday night parties served another purpose (besides just being fun) they were a time when we could all get together and be friends. There were no worries, we were away from all the children, away from the struggles of the day. We could just be there and have fun together.

Sixth Location

The final location was a lot of fun because we had some extra helpers so there were more friends to be with. Also there were more children and with more children more excitement is built. We had some very good times with the kids who ranged from very well trained to....not so much. With the extra kids and extra helpers came completely new challenges to me as a leader. The ways in which I grew this week were much more fun than in previous weeks. I learned better how to deal with situations on a larger scale. The team unity was very good this week. It was fun to see people getting along and helping one another grow in their skills of working with kids. We had some extremely adorable children at this camp and they were constantly trying to stay on the good side of their leaders. It was interesting to watch the variety of children and how the teens handled them as the small group leaders.

The Wondrous Week of Vacation

The next week we had a the entire week off because of the fair in Lynden. Just before this week the CEF director (Natalie) asked if I would be interested in directing again next year. My initial thought was “NO WAY! I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN! I'M A FAILIOR!” (not every thing was going smoothly with camps and I blamed myself for a lot of it) but, of course that wouldn't sound very good so as calmly as possible I said “I'm not sure.” Well Monday I left with my Dad and brothers for a three day backpacking trip. As we hiked up in the fresh mountain air my mind also cleared from all the confusion and the battle field (yes ministry is a battle). As my muscles began to feel more and more tired my mind and spirit became more and more alive and refreshed. I felt as if I could do any thing in God's strength. As this feeling grew stronger and stronger the voice of conviction also grew louder. I knew that God wanted me to be open to the idea of being a camp director again. So I gave up on saying “no” and decided that whatever God wanted for my summer next year would be just fine with me.

After 3.7 miles of hiking we reached our destination. We set up camp on a small outcrop between two lakes and threw out our lines in the larger lake (well my dad and brother did) I sat on a log watching (they say I don't need to talk while I observe..but I'm not sure that's entirely true). While I watched I also prayed and worshiped the Lord for every thing that I could think of. That night we watched the stars as we drifted off to sleep (no tent way up in the mountains, it's too heavy to carry).

The next morning we rolled out of our sleeping bags, ate a good breakfast and wandered up the hillside. Bushwhacking our way through we came to a beautifully splashing waterfall. We scrambled up the rocks (yes at one point I got very stuck and my night in shining armor...ok my brother in dirty jeans) had to rescue me) when we finally got to the top of the waterfall I was completely exhausted but some aspirin helped to wake me up. We hiked up to the top of Sisters Bride where there was a rock ledge that we sat on and ate lunch. From the ledge we could see Mt. Baker clearly and feel as if we were almost parallel with the peek. We could also see Mt. Rainier down to the south. Then we headed down the mountain, we picked a different rout this time. Near the peek was a snow drift so we spent some time sliding down it. The menfolk say that I have a “certain style” I'm not entirely sure what that means...but they say it's funny.

That evening we decided to take a swim in the smaller of the two lakes that we were camped between. Oh, it was cold! As we sat by the fire afterwards I realized that every part of my body ached. Actually when dad asked what parts hurt I told him “Every thing but my nose” We slept extremely well that night.

The next morning we waited for our clothes to dry and then headed down the mountain. We took one other small hike and then went home to hot baths and warm beds.

The rest of our week off was rather relaxing. I worked in my garden mostly and relaxed much of the time. This week was such a blessing from the Lord. Near the end of the week Natalie and I got together to prepare for the next week. We had 38 children preregistered at the camp I was directing and had no idea how many more we might have. We redistributed all of the supplies to make sure that we would have enough. We also reorganized the teams so that I would have some extra workers to help in case we had too many kids.