The Road

Last night I slept very few hours. Why? Because of the book I was reading. After I finished I looked at the back cover where it states that it is “unputdownable” that was an understatement. At one point I was ready to throw it down hop on a plane (pajamas and all) and do something (I didn't know what) about the condition in Cambodia. I was reading the autobiography of Somaly Mam called The Road of Lost Innocence it is the story of a girl who was sold into the human slave trade and about the horrors she went through. (I'll refrain from going into any more detail for my more squeamish readers.) The part that truly inspired me was what she did after she went through that living hell. She went back and helped other girls in the same condition. This book inspired me to find what I can do to help those in the most horrible earthly conditions possible and to pray more fervently for them. I don't know yet what I can do to help these girls more. However, I do intend to pray for them daily. Please join your prayers with mine before the throne of God.

Can You Hear Me?

Can you hear me? Does anyone around me
Feel the way that I feel now?
Cause from the window where I sometimes cry
I just want to see Your face tonight
And I'm willing to lose everything I am

Cause I need you more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone.

When You're near me, I feel like I just found me
In the traces of the boy from yesterday
But in a world that is so black and white
I will take the steps to change my life
And I won't be coming back to here again

I need Your loving hand to guide me
Through the maze of all the things inside me
Then I'll know that I'm alright

Cause I need You more than ever
I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone
Please help me get from worse to better
Before these tears soak through this lonely sweater
And let me know that I'm alright
I still have one strike of this match left
And I'm holding on to my last breath
And its getting a little dark around to see here

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
You're not alone

Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on it will be alright
You're not alone

And You'll be here forever, forever You'll stay
And You promised to love me, You'll love me always
You'll love me for always, You'll love me for always
Always

Changing Seasons

On a normal morening in the Indian summer my legs would start itching to go for a nice long run. However this morning was no indian summer. No, it was indeed fall. The leaves are all different colors and the the mist was bone chilling. Each season of life is different. Some may be like Indian summer, full of wamth and energy. Others may be like a cold fall day and the last memories of summer are faiding away. The end of summer may truely be uppon us (I'll admit that fall is here for good once Thanksgiving comes) but I feel as though my life is enjoying a rich and beautiful spring. God is blessing me in so many ways. My life is His garden and I rejoice to have Him there caring for and causing the garden to bear the fruit that only the Master can produce. Without Him I am simply the rocky ground with weeds of sin all around it, but with much toil and patience He has lovingly cleared a spot for His love to grow in my heart.

hmmm that was somewhat random. I guess I just get excited about God.

Another Rough Draft

Thoughts on Apocalypse Now

Edward O. Wilson Essay in his essay Apocalypse Now makes the remarkable proposal that science and religion should work together for the good of humanity. His essay is written in the form of a letter of request to a Southern Baptist pastor. Having grown up in a church I understand the line of thought of his audience. I understand, as one guilty of such, that the church can appear cold or even hostile to opposing view points. Scientists, also, can be closed to any view points that do not fit with the way they interpret evidence. Despite the frequent close mindedness of both parties Wilson makes is request for cooperation. This seems to be more than valid and right as Christians consider it their duty to better humanity as do environmental scientists. The question isn't so much should religion and science work together and it isn't why they haven't in the past, the past doesn't really matter or hold a valid affect on what can be. The question is how can science and religion work together when they have been riveted for centuries. Wilson doesn't answer this question but he does suggest taking some first steps together to make the earth a better place. This seems to be a mature and courageous step.

Wilson doesn't state exactly how he intends to work with his reader to better the world by having science and the Christian religion work in collaboration he simply makes the request that they forget the differences that they have had for decades and unite for the goal that they both hope to see archived: the world changed for the better, saving all who live upon it. Wilson makes this request not only validly but also respectfully. He doesn't appear to be accusing this pastor or any one with religious beliefs of causing the split between religion and science. He is simply stating that there is a rift and requesting that the work together to mend that rift so that they can both be more affective.

Although I was not the intended reader of this essay I find it rather compelling. I am a Christian and my religion is very important to me yet I also have an interest in science. Because of my faith I do not agree with the interpretations of evidence that some scientists conclude with and I know of individuals who work in scientific fields who hold strongly to their beliefs. This may tamper with the way that they interpret evidence however an atheists could just as easily have his lack of belief in a god tamper with the conclusions he makes about evidence found. This should indicate that there is no reason for Christians not to be scientists nor for scientists not to be evangelical Christians. My musings go a little father than the proposal by Wilson to the idea that religion and science could become one identity. True there will always be various forms of finding data and processing data yet perhaps there can be unity and advising and support from both fields towards one another. This gives a Utopian like image of scientists and religious pastors working together and saving the world. I don't believe that simply unifying religion and science that the world will automatically become a utopia but it might like Wilson suggests make the world better and this unity may be something to pursue.

Wilson doesn't ignore the fact that there are some fundamental differences in world view between his intended reader and himself he states “Of course, in doing so, [asking for counsel and help]I see no way to avoid the fundamental differences in our worldviews. You are a strict interpreter of Christian Holy Scripture; I am a secular humanist. You believe that each person's soul is immortal...I think heaven and hell are what we create for ourselves on this planet.” This shows an astute awareness that he knows there will still be differences and that he realizes there will be struggles and disagreements in working together. My thoughts on this is that he is more than right in saying this. When any two groups of people come together there will invariably be disagreements and what may be even more difficult to work through misunderstandings and differences in ways of communicating evidence.

I thought it was very insightful and tactful the way that Wilson suggested that these differences do indeed exist and cannot be changed however they can be worked around to accomplish a common goal. If Wilson were saying that these differences are not important then I would have to disagree with that. However he is simply suggesting that in some areas Christians and scientists work together. I believe that this working together may result in some form of change or enlightenment if you will. It could be called conversion. Since I believe in a real heaven and a real hell it would be doing any one I come in contact with a disfavor not to warn them and tell them of my conserns for them. It is not my goal to change their lives to be more like mine nor to make their point any less valid or to raise myself as one who has all of the answers. It is just that as we exchange ideas we will expose both the things that we agree upon and those that we disagree. I think that Wilson would agree with this where he admits “You may be wrong; I may be wrong. We both may be partly right.” He also suggests however that when it comes to working together we should forget our differences and see what we agree on. He as the scientist and the pastor are as he says “both humanists in the broadest sense: human wefare is at the center of our thought. So forget our disagreement, I say, and let us meet on common ground.” This seems a bold yet freeing suggestion that I think could result in great good.

I believe it is important for both those in the secular world and those from the religious world to not get so caught up in their own worldviews that they cannot see the views of the other. For example I as a Christian do not believe that I should never pay attention to what a secular scientist says. He may have some very truthful points that I can glean insight from. I should make a point of understanding people around me who have different religious views whether they be atheist, Muslim, Mormon or so forth. It seems just as likely though that any one else from any other worldview should be open minded to the possibility of the truth of the Bible and teaching of the Christian church.

As a reader of this essay I feel inspired to work alongside people who have different view points and make an effort to appreciate our differences and strive off of our likenesses so that we can weave our ideas together and make a stronger force for our common goals. Although I will still make an effort to tell others about what I believe and show them the truth found in that. However I also want to work together in the areas that we can and perhaps we will both become stronger in our goals.

Lion

Mysterious
That's what I call You
I'm curious about You
I'm scared and not sure that You are safe
But Your eyes seem to say that You are good

Chorus
This is not a dream that I'm living
This is just a world of Your own
You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together
I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is (an angel)

Wise eyes, You see the core of me
Your gentleness melts me
And now I know that words cannot describe
The power that I feel when I'm with You

Chorus
This is not a dream that I'm living
This is just a world of Your own
You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together
I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is

Peace and power, love forever
Who am I to stand before You?
I am speechless
But in my weakness
You are here and all is well

You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together
I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is (an angel)

Chorus
This is not a dream that I'm living
This is just a world of Your own
You took me from all that I knew
Shown me how it feels to hope
With You with me, facing tomorrow together
I can learn to fly
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is (an angel)

is an angel

- Rebecca St. James

"You know He isn't a tame Lion."

Mr. Tumnas

What Life Would Be Like

I wish I was more of a man
Have you ever felt that way
And if I had to tell you the truth
I'm afraid I'd have to say
That after all I've done and failed to do
I feel like less than I was meant to be

What if I could fix myself
Maybe then I could get free
I could try to be somebody else
Who's much better off than me
But I need to remember this
That it's when I'm at my weakest
I can clearly see

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live thru you and me

What if you could see yourself thru another pair of eyes
What if you could hear the truth
Instead of old familiar lies
What if you could feel inside
The power of the hand that made the universe You'd realize

That He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live thru you and me

Yeah, yeah

All our hearts they burn within us
All our lives we've longed for more
So let us lay our lives before the one who gave His life for us

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live thru you and me

Yeah, yeah
Let Him live through you and me
Yeah, yeah


-Big Daddy Weave

Genesis 32:24-32

Jacob Wrestles
24Then Jacob was left alone, and a man (A)wrestled with him until daybreak.
25When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him.

26Then he said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking." But he said, "(B)I will not let you go unless you bless me."

27So he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob."

28(C)He said, "Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but [a]Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed."

29Then (D)Jacob asked him and said, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And he blessed him there.

30So Jacob named the place [b]Peniel, for he said, "(E)I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved."

31Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed over (F)Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh.

32Therefore, to this day the sons of Israel do not eat the sinew of the hip which is on the socket of the thigh, because he touched the socket of Jacob's thigh in the sinew of the hip.

I keep wanting to read this passage over and over again. There are so many things that I keep thinking about. My thoughts go something like this. They really wrestled all night? Who just all of a sudden decides to have a wrestling match with a stranger instead of sleeping at night?

I haven't found an answer to these questions yet but I have found other interesting insights. I find it amazing that a human being was said to be able to wrestle with God and prevail. I wonder if this statement indicates more than just that nights events. I wonder if Jacob had wrestled emotionally with the will of God. We know from previous chapters that he wrestled psychologically with his brother and with his father inlaw. I wonder what Jacob was thinking when he realized he had seen God face to face and that he had wrestled with God. I think that I would be scared yet I wonder if we sometimes wrestle with God.

There have been people who report that they resisted God's irresistible love and grace before they decided to believe in Him as the one and only true God. If we do wrestle with God, do we feel that fear that we would expect Jacob felt when wrestling with God physically or does it not seem as real since it is in our hearts and minds? If we do wrestle with God, in some sense of the word, how do we know if we prevail as Jacob was said to have or if God prevails. Since this is an emotional matter I would imagine that it would be hard to tell. I still wonder though, how do we know when or if we wrestle with God and who is winning.

This question can be easily dismissed if you believe that God is a mythical creature created for the amusement in stories in the Bible. What if that assumption is wrong? What if He does live and is a divine being that we can talk with and wrestle with in a way not unlike the way Jacob wrestled with Him? I can only conclude that if we wrestle with God we should, as the Israelites did for generations, commemorate the occasion with the way we live our lives.

I was able to write this as a class assingment for my English 336 Scriptural Litterature class. I just praise the Lord for a class like this one.